Men often report being more hurt
and sensitive than women when it comes to being turned down for sex, Dow
says, adding that, like you, they want to be wanted. “Whereas women
often tell me how they need to feel more love in order to have more sex,
men tell me that if they're not having sex, they feel like they're not
loved.”
Before you dismiss Dow since he’s a guy, Berman agrees, explaining that sex is how men express emotional closeness. “When he is asking to have sex with you, it's not just because he wants a physical release but because he wants to feel that connection with you and to you. It would be like him rejecting you when you reach out to cuddle or hug him, but a deeper blow,” she says.
Berman recommends saying yes as often as possible, aiming to twist the sheets at least twice a week to stay connected and keep your sexual response on point. And it doesn’t have to be hanging-from-the-rafters crazy every time. Men honestly say they’re fine with vanilla sex or even a quickie or blowjob, as long as you mix things up each time (don’t forget: novelty).
For those times you do say no, be affectionate and loving—and reschedule, Berman says. It may not sound sexy, but setting a date ensures the sex will actually happen, and it helps you prioritize your relationship and your sexual connection. Oh, and—since he wants to be desired—he’d love it if you would initiate sex more often, she adds.
Before you dismiss Dow since he’s a guy, Berman agrees, explaining that sex is how men express emotional closeness. “When he is asking to have sex with you, it's not just because he wants a physical release but because he wants to feel that connection with you and to you. It would be like him rejecting you when you reach out to cuddle or hug him, but a deeper blow,” she says.
Berman recommends saying yes as often as possible, aiming to twist the sheets at least twice a week to stay connected and keep your sexual response on point. And it doesn’t have to be hanging-from-the-rafters crazy every time. Men honestly say they’re fine with vanilla sex or even a quickie or blowjob, as long as you mix things up each time (don’t forget: novelty).
For those times you do say no, be affectionate and loving—and reschedule, Berman says. It may not sound sexy, but setting a date ensures the sex will actually happen, and it helps you prioritize your relationship and your sexual connection. Oh, and—since he wants to be desired—he’d love it if you would initiate sex more often, she adds.
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