Men feel emasculated, ashamed, and powerless when they go soft. “It's shocking how personally they take it when they report it to me,” Dow says. “Men who are with women who don't make it a big deal do a lot better than the ones who make the proverbial mountain out of a molehill.” The more a guy thinks about losing his erection, the more anxious he gets trying to make it come back—and the less likely that is to happen. So take this as a cue to shift gears and touch each other in places other than your privates, or ask him to go down on you, Dow suggests. (Thanks for the Rx, doc!) “Sit back and enjoy it. The more he senses you're liking it and that he's really pleasing you, the more likely his erection is to come back since he won’t be thinking about himself.” You can also have him watch you masturbate or you can bring out sex toys if you’ve used them together before.
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